I sacrificed all of my needs, just to satisfy your selfish wants. When you were here physically, emotionally I was alone. Emotionally I was torn. You were loving yourself as if you shared love with no one else, like this love was never born. Like this love was never sworn. You made vows to treat this love, but somehow you deceived this love. And you wonder why I feel scorned? Because I gave you my trust, and I fought to keep this love. I never thought I’d weep this much, because a man couldn’t keep his word. I feel foolish for trying to keep this up when you never valued my worth.
Oh, so now you feel hurt? Now you can give me what I deserve?
The way you feel right now, wanting to love me inside out… is how I felt through all of your dirt. But now my heart is all cried out. Time after time I thought of leaving you behind, but I stayed, prayed, and kept my faith… only to realize I was making the same mistake. Over and over again I allowed myself to be your doormat. Now that the welcome sign is gone… You’re crying to come back?
I’m dying to understand that.
That door mat I used to be is no longer a place for your feet, and those thoughts of leaving you behind have turned into reality. All that trying and crying because I opened my heart and you hurt it. Now each and every day I’m prying… trying to reopen and return my heart to service. Yeah I’m scorned and my heart is numb, but I’m no longer a woman who’s dumb. What you did, I didn’t deserve it. All I can say for this one is… I hope that she was worth it!
©2018 Rodrick Bates