Never gave me the chance to
Accept or reject you based on the truth.
You pretended to want all of me
Just to get a part of me.
Instead of telling me what you wanted,
You told me what you thought I wanted,
So that you could get what you really wanted.
Based on your actions and words,
For months I invested myself wholeheartedly
And started giving you special parts of me.
For so long you pretended to be
Mentally and emotionally vested,
But you were only physically connected.
It took me a while to digest this little lie
That led to living a life that was never mine.
It shed a light that I thought was bright,
But now that I’m no longer blind
I can see that it never really shined.
I spent years begging and bargaining
For time that was never really mine.
I could feel my heart hardening
As I pardoned you so many times.
I don’t understand how a person
Could take another person through pain
And never feel a thing.
You faked an entire relationship
And even talked about marriage and kids.
You kept telling me whatever I wanted to hear
So that you could stay around
And continue to feel how you wanted to feel.
One little lie allowed me to be immersed
In a counterfeit love that was well coerced.
The pain is real but it could have been worse.
They say the truth always hurts,
Only if the lie comes first.

Cruising on a ship of love
She thought life would sail as such
But she was left completely alone
Thrown overboard to a war zone
As that ship of love sailed on

As she was being thrown overboard
Her mild cries had gone ignored
As she watched that ship of love
Sailing beautifully back to shore
Her new life is all she thought of

As the lonely oceans became her home
She created a protective shell of her own
As she pierced the waters of loneliness
With an abused heart and a mind stressed
Settling at the ocean’s floor to nest

She prayed for years with tears of fear
That someone would find her here
Seeing her kind rescued each day
Often revisited her heart to faith
Yet, alone she remained for years

This home was her comfortable place
That she sadly owned and embraced
As she looks above at the constant waves
She asks God to please make a way
To tread her above waters some day

Until then she’ll be on ocean floors
Protecting herself until she reaches shore
Within her self made shell she lies
Who knows? One may soon discover
Her shell’s precious pearl inside

Every time I hear your name
It resurfaces my heart’s pain
I still remember the rain drops
That fell lovely upon my heart
But now it hurts when it rains

Beneath the dirt lies my shame
Because I really wanted us to work
But all I ever did was cause you pain
Now I wish to lie beneath the earth
To come back and show you change

I always rearrange my feelings
And they always come back to you
Now my emotions are slowly peeling
The lies that covered the truth
Trying to return my skies to blue

I disguised my feelings for you
And I despise myself for it too
It’s funny how the distance of love
Had to exist so much between us
For me to realize that I love you

I know there’s no changing the past
But we can change paying the cost
I’m just hoping my future will grasp
A love that I’ve physically lost
Because the emotions I still have

For you I’ll write until time is lost
For you I write the shame off
If it takes life long to right this wrong
My heart’s love light will forever be on
As I continue to write the pain off